Overcoming the myths about cruising

I have spent much of this year learning all there is to know about cruising and the dizzying variety of options available to the UK market. Over time, I have come to understand the benefits of small ships over the behemoth new creations, and vice versa and the meaning of phrases like ‘crew to guest ratio’, ‘on-board credit’, ‘gratuities’ and ‘port fees’.

The UK cruise market is vast, getting bigger, and really does offer something for almost everyone, even if they don’t know it. Yet.

Having booked over 20 customers onto cruises for this year and well into late 2018, surely the only thing missing from my cruise CV was personal experience?

In March this year, when our own family holiday powwow between my wife and I took place, a cruise was duly suggested, considered, and ultimately selected. With a mix of trepidation and excitement, it was time to stop talking the talk, and start cruising the cruise. Carrying some of the apprehensions that we Scepticus Britanicus seem to be genetically programmed with, we knew it was time to find out for ourselves.

For our voyage to be deemed repeatable, our myths that we had to bust were: • Feeling crowded. Surely? With thousands of other guests on board • Not enough time on the shore visits • The food can’t really be that good, can it? And the rumours of mandatory weight gain when cruising • The cabins will be too small – where will we put everything? • Cost of drinks and hidden extras?

After much research, we selected our poison – a week in the Eastern Mediterranean on board Royal Caribbean’s Rhapsody of the Seas discovering Croatia, Montenegro and Greece from Venice. Rhapsody is one of RCCL’s smaller, older ships – relative to the mega-ships that stalk the larger ports of the Western Med and Caribbean. We would be sharing therefore with (only) 2,430 other guests. We wouldn’t have the full extension of restaurants and entertainment. And not a wave rider or North Star glass capsule in sight. Panic – would this be enough? Would we feel unfulfilled?

Roll the clock forward to 13:00 on Saturday 29th July 2017 and these fears melted under the Venetian sun. We all had the tingles as we all set foot on Rhapsody for the first time. We boarded our home for the next week with the same excitement as the golden-ticket holders crossing the threshold to Wonka’s factory. Our first view was from the foot of a 7-storey shiny, sparkly atrium. Light flooded in and we got dizzy looking up. To us this was grand and plenty big enough. We would find out by the end of the week that she was big enough, but not too big. We began to recognize fellow cruisers and staff, and that gave us a warm familiarity and sense of belonging. She became our ship.

Vast as she is, Rhapsody had endless hiding places for our fellow 2,430. So, that dispelled our first major concern. Only at the mandatory muster drill on day one did we realize the extent of the magic people-hiding trick as all guests and crew crowd together for the first and final time. Our two sea days were the ones I feared the most on this front. But there were plenty of beds around the pool decks to keep all the sunbathers happy. There was an adult pool inside, the casino, kids-clubs, and the biggest people-magnet was the never-ending procession of food.

With food, you have a decision to make on day 1. Either you develop a conscious discipline of restraint and sensible eating, or you resign yourself to spending the next 51 weeks working off what you ingest in this one. The quantity of food available was impressive, verging on excessive. Our kids soon learned that anything they put on their plate, they were expected to eat. My only real enduring problem with our cruise was the unforgivable amount of food taken by guests at the buffets, only to be left and thrown away. That said, you have to marvel at the culinary capabilities of these floating cities. The variety would satisfy all persuasions and dietary limitations. The quality too is excellent. Stepping outside the regular evening dining routine of the main restaurant, we had two nights in the specialty restaurants. The steaks on offer in the Chops Grille were simply stunning.

So, the food concern safely navigated, what about on-board costs? We chose not to pre-pay the RCCL drinks package – in any of its guises. Before you cruise, you can pre-pay drinks and this would make sense if you like a few drinks per day. We decided to “sign-as-you-go”. Around the ship and in the buffet, there is plenty of free water and squash available, so too regular tea and coffee. If you can live without branded soft drinks and alcohol, you’re home and dry, otherwise, you need to pay attention. A large glass of house wine, or a beer in the bars or with your meal costs $8-15. Soft drinks are reasonable at $3-4. We largely kept off the paid drinks without any issue – and so the bill at the end of the week remained (just) in two figures. Gratuities (tips) are expected – so we had pre-paid ours. You settle-up on the final day.

Our next concern – the cabin size – was also ill-founded. All four in a cabin would have been a squeeze, but we had two cabins with an interconnecting door between them. We had plenty of room, and a surprising amount of storage space. Everything was a lot more comfortable than we had dared hope, and our cabin attendant was amazing. In fact, all the crew were super-friendly.

Onto the shore excursions. As I have written elsewhere, this itinerary is truly stunning. Venice – Dubrovnik – Kotor – Santorini – Olympia – Venice. I can’t imagine a better one. The only way this could go wrong would be not enough time in each port, but RCCL got it spot on. Early morning arrivals with late afternoon departures did the trick especially in the August heat. We generally did our own thing, but did pre-book one excursion in Santorini – and were glad that we did. We took a coach to the beautiful and quiet village of Oia. Later, joining the masses in Fira was the only time on shore that I felt aware of the impact of large cruise ships on local towns. It did feel too intrusive. Even Olympia with its sites and local beaches was easily fitted in within the shore time allocated with our own taxi driver.

In conclusion, this cruise exceeded our expectations and busted our myths!

RCCL is great for families. Others specialize in the adult market. Some are massive with all kinds of on-board attractions. Some are much smaller allowing access to tiny ports. The food is outstanding. The entertainment is surprisingly diverse and contemporary.

Now having cruised myself, I get it. I understand why the cruise market has the most loyal repeat customers in travel. My job now is to find the right cruise for you!