Putting My Foot In It
Back to putting your foot in it! When I meet anyone new I tend to always say and do the wrong thing, being dyslexic in both speech and writing doesn't help at all. So, to 'cover my tracks' as they say, I tell them embarrassing stories of me putting my foot in all the wrong places.
Here are my most memorable 'putting your foot in it' moments:
1. First Date Stumble
Most of us feel like we have had a first date disaster, but how many of us can say they have fell over and cut their leg?
My date took me to a lovely restaurant, just as I thought things were going well I got up to use the ladies room. On my way upstairs towards the ladies I tripped and fell scraping all my leg on the way down! Embarrassed I walked back to the table and had to ask to end my date shorter than planned so I could go back home to see to my leg.
You would think that was the end of that relationship... but the second date went a little better and now we are happily married!
2. Work Trip To St Lucia
If you remember, a few years ago myself and two of my colleagues visited St. Lucia to compete for 'The Best St. Lucia Experts in the UK' (and we won).
On our first night, we were taken to Gros Islet to get involved in the exciting 'Friday Night Jump Up'. Unfortunately, there was no jumping for me as I was lucky enough to find a ditch to trip into on the way and twisted my ankle.
But wait, that isn't even the worst part of it yet! Everyone can imagine how busy the London underground is during rush hour, imagine sliding down a moving escalator at peak time! This is exactly what I did on my way home from St. Lucia. Whilst going up the escalators on the London underground I tripped and terrifyingly started sliding down, I managed to survive but my legs were once again battered.
There are plenty more times where my poor legs have taken the brunt of it! A wonderful Thai massage in Bangkok that left me so relaxed and supple I just went flying across the road straight after. The time during our annual conference when I tripped over in the bathroom and cracked my head against the porcelain bath. The list goes on and on...
3. Camping in A Ditch
Saving the best and funniest moment until last; a couple of years ago I went on a camping trip (you all know how much I like camping), it was late at night and I needed the ladies, I think you can already tell this isn't going to end well!
It was after 10pm so to avoid the loud crunching of the gavel I toddled around the edge to make sure I didn't disturb anyone. Everything was fine on the way there, so I started off on the same route for my way back to the tent. All of a sudden, I found myself in a ditch! That's right, I tripped over and stumbled into a ditch that was taller than me, only the top of my head was poking over the top.
I felt like I was taking part in a challenge in 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here', trying to escape out of a tall ditch full of brambles in the pitch black. I am not the lightest of people and no matter how much I tried I just couldn't get myself out. I had done such a good job of not disturbing anyone on the way, that when I was shouting for help no one could hear me.
I lost count of how long I was stuck down there, I think I even had a little nap at one point, it was starting to get really late. Finally, I heard someone (or something) coming towards me, slight fear crossed me as we were staying in the Big Bear Lodge and I didn't wanted to be found by a grizzly bear! But luckily it was my husband, Denny. He didn't notice me down in the ditch and walked right past me so I had to shout as loud as I could to get his attention which puzzled him at first, he couldn't figure out where my shouting was coming from. With some difficulty Denny managed to pull me out leaving me looking like I had been in a cat fight with scratches all over me.
I'm sure there are plenty more hilarious episodes of my weak ankles giving way, but I think I'll leave it at that for now. To say the least, I can definitely put my foot in it!