Boutique Hotel or Luxury Resort: Which One Will You Actually Enjoy More?

First, what do I actually mean by boutique hotel or luxury resort?

Boutique is one of those words that gets used rather loosely in travel. A hotel can call itself boutique because it's small, because of its design, because it's independently owned or simply because boutique sounds nicer in the description.

So I wouldn't get too hung up on the label. When I'm comparing the two, I'm really thinking about the difference between a smaller, more intimate hotel with fewer facilities and a larger resort designed to give you much more within the property itself.

And even that isn't an exact science. There are boutique-style hotels with brilliant facilities and enormous luxury resorts that still manage to feel peaceful and personal. 

What matters is how the hotel actually works once you're there.

The question I'd ask before looking at either 

What do you actually do on holiday? 

Not what looks good on Instagram. Not what your friends loved. Not what you think you're supposed to want from a luxury holiday.

Think about your last few trips. Did you spend most evenings in the hotel or were you itching to go out? Did you want entertainment after dinner? Did you use the spa? Were you happy eating in the same restaurant several times? Did you spend most of the day around one pool, or did you like having different places to go?

Those answers tell me far more than saying you want somewhere five-star.

When I'd choose a boutique hotel

I'd start looking at smaller boutique hotels for someone who values atmosphere, individuality and a more intimate feel over having an enormous list of facilities.

Perhaps you love finding restaurants outside the hotel. Maybe you want a beautiful room, lovely pool and excellent breakfast, but don't need six restaurants, three swimming pools and an entertainment programme.

Boutique properties can be particularly good for couples who enjoy the hotel but don't necessarily need it to provide their entire holiday.

They're also often the sort of places I'd look at when location matters enormously. A smaller hotel in or close to a beautiful town can be a much better choice for you than an incredible resort half an hour away if you know you'll want to wander out every evening.

When boutique can be completely wrong

This is where the photographs can get you.

You find a tiny hotel with 30 beautiful rooms, a gorgeous infinity pool and a restaurant overlooking the sea. It looks perfect.

Then we get into what you actually want. You like a choice of restaurants. Your husband wants a decent gym. You enjoy a bit of atmosphere around the bar in the evening. You don't really like eating out every night. And after two days beside one very quiet pool, you know you're going to get bored.

Suddenly that gorgeous boutique hotel doesn't look quite so perfect. 

It hasn't become a bad hotel. It's just the wrong hotel for you.

When I'd choose a larger luxury resort

A bigger luxury resort comes into its own when you want the hotel to be a substantial part of the holiday.

If you like waking up and deciding between different pools, having several restaurants to choose from, using the spa, going to the gym, trying activities or having somewhere different for drinks in the evening, having more within the resort can make a real difference.

This can be especially important when you're travelling for a week or two and don't plan to leave the hotel very often.

If you're going to spend fourteen days somewhere, I'd think very carefully about whether the facilities and dining options will still feel exciting on day ten.

Bigger doesn't automatically mean busier

I think this is one of the misconceptions around larger resorts.

A big hotel doesn't automatically mean loud music, packed pools and hundreds of people everywhere you look.

The best larger luxury resorts can be very clever about creating separate spaces. Adults-only areas, quieter pools, beach areas, gardens, private villas and different restaurants can spread people around so the hotel feels much calmer than its room count suggests.

Equally, a relatively small hotel can feel busy if everybody is using the same pool, bar and restaurant at exactly the same time.

This is why I look beyond how many rooms a hotel has. I want to know how the space works.

How important is restaurant choice?

This is a much bigger deal than people sometimes realise before they travel.

If you're staying bed and breakfast somewhere with a fantastic town full of restaurants outside the door, having one hotel restaurant might be completely irrelevant.

If you're staying all-inclusive for ten nights and don't intend to leave the resort, it's a very different conversation.

I'd want to know how many restaurants you can genuinely use, whether reservations are required, whether there are restrictions around how often you can visit certain restaurants and what happens at lunch as well as dinner.

Having seven restaurants listed on a website doesn't necessarily mean you'll have seven completely different dining options available to you every night.

And if food is one of the things you really look forward to on holiday, I'd give this much more weight than whether the hotel has the prettiest lobby. 

What if you love eating outside the hotel?

Then location can matter more than the number of restaurants inside it.

If your favourite part of a holiday is showering, getting dressed and wandering into town to decide where you fancy eating that night, I'd rather find you a brilliant hotel that allows you to do that easily. 

Paying for a resort with a huge dining programme that you barely use doesn't make much sense.

This is why I always want to know whether you see yourselves staying in most evenings or going out. It sounds like a small question. It can completely change the shortlist. 

Is all-inclusive better at a larger resort?

Not automatically, but this is where the details really matter. 

If all-inclusive is important to you, I don't just look for those two words beside the hotel name. I want to know what the plan actually includes and whether it suits the way you holiday.

Which restaurants are included? Are there premium dishes or drinks with supplements? Is the minibar included? What happens with snacks? Do you need restaurant reservations? Are there bars or venues excluded from the plan? 

A fantastic all-inclusive can make a holiday incredibly easy. A restrictive one can leave you feeling as though you're constantly checking what you're allowed to have. 

For me, the quality and flexibility of the all-inclusive matters far more than simply being able to say the hotel offers it.

What about service?

People often assume a smaller hotel will automatically give more personal service. Sometimes it does.

With fewer guests, staff may quickly know your name, remember what you drink or recognise the table you like at breakfast. That can be a lovely part of staying somewhere smaller. 

But some large luxury resorts deliver exceptional service too. The difference is often in how well the property is run rather than simply how many rooms it has. 

I'd look at the actual hotel rather than deciding that boutique means personal and resort means anonymous.

Do you want peace or do you want atmosphere?

This is one of my favourite questions because people sometimes say they want peace and quiet when what they actually mean is they don't want a rowdy hotel. 

Those aren't quite the same thing.

There is a big difference between wanting a calm pool during the day and wanting a hotel where you can hear a pin drop after 8pm.

Some couples love a very peaceful adults-only hotel where evenings are all about dinner and a quiet drink. Others want the calm pool but also want a lovely bar with music and a bit of life after dinner. 

I'd want to know which one you are.

Adults-only doesn't tell me enough

Adults-only is another filter rather than a complete brief.

One adults-only hotel might be tiny, romantic and incredibly quiet. Another might have DJs, pool parties and a lively bar scene. Another could be a huge luxury resort with several pools, restaurants, sports and entertainment.

All three can accurately call themselves adults-only. 

So if you tell me you want adults-only, my next question isn't simply where do you want to go? I want to know why you want adults-only and what you imagine the hotel feeling like.

What changes when you're travelling with children?

Quite a lot.

A beautiful smaller hotel can work brilliantly for a family whose children are happy swimming, going to the beach and heading out with their parents in the evening. 

But if your children want waterslides, football, a kids' club, entertainment and other children to meet, I need to know that.

The same applies to teenagers. A hotel can be fantastic for a five-year-old and painfully boring for a 15-year-old. 

Larger resorts often have an advantage when a family needs lots of facilities, but I still wouldn't choose purely on size. I'd look at what is actually available for your children's ages. 

Family room doesn't necessarily mean family-friendly

This is something I'd always look at properly.

A hotel might technically sleep four people in one room, but that doesn't tell me whether four people will actually enjoy spending a week or two in it.

Is there a separate sleeping area? Are the children on a sofa bed beside your bed? Is there one bathroom for everyone? Is there enough storage? What happens when the children go to sleep and the adults want to stay awake?

Sometimes spending more on the right room category makes a bigger difference to a family holiday than upgrading the hotel itself.

And sometimes a larger resort gives us far more choice of family rooms, suites and villas than a small boutique property can physically offer.

Would a villa be better than either?

Sometimes, yes.

Particularly for families or several generations travelling together, a villa within a resort can give you the best bits of both worlds.

You can have bedrooms and living space that actually work for the group, perhaps a private pool, and still have restaurants, a beach, housekeeping and resort facilities available when you want them.

It can also work beautifully for couples travelling with friends who want to holiday together without sharing every waking minute.

I wouldn't automatically assume a villa is more expensive either. Once several rooms are involved, it's worth comparing properly. 

How much does the room matter?

This depends enormously on the type of holiday.

If you're spending your days exploring and coming back to shower and sleep, I might tell you not to spend a fortune upgrading the room.

But if this is a relaxing resort holiday and you've already told me you'll probably spend half the afternoon on your terrace, that's different. A sea view, swim-up room or private pool might genuinely change how much you enjoy the trip.

I don't believe in upgrading for the sake of upgrading. I do believe in spending money on the bits you'll actually notice.

Is a private pool worth it?

Sometimes absolutely. Sometimes not remotely. If you're imagining quiet mornings with coffee outside, lazy afternoons without having to find loungers and a drink on your terrace before dinner, you might use it constantly. 

If you love the atmosphere around the main pool, spend every day at the beach and only return to the room to get changed, you could spend a significant amount more for a pool you barely touch.

I'd also look at the actual room position and privacy. Private pool doesn't always mean private in the way you're picturing it.

What about the beach?

This is another area where I'd look beyond the hotel description.

Beachfront sounds straightforward, but beaches differ enormously. Some are wide and sandy. Some are small coves. Some have shingle or rocks. Some hotels sit directly on a lovely beach, while others are technically beachfront but the part in front of them may not be what you imagined.

And then there's the question of how much you actually care.

If you spend every day on the beach, I'll prioritise it heavily. If you always end up beside the pool, I don't want to reject the perfect hotel because its beach isn't the star of the show.

Do you actually need entertainment?

This is one I'd think about before booking a very quiet boutique property.

If you're going out every night, you probably don't care what happens in the hotel after dinner.

But if you're staying in a resort and expect to spend most evenings there, what happens after you've eaten?

Some people are perfectly happy with a cocktail and conversation. Others like live music, shows or simply a bar that still has some atmosphere later in the evening.

Neither answer is more sophisticated. You just need to be honest about what you enjoy.

Boutique hotel or luxury resort for a honeymoon?

Either can be brilliant.

For a honeymoon built around exploring somewhere together, eating out and having a romantic base to return to, I'd happily look at boutique hotels.

If you're imagining ten days of switching off, great restaurants, spa treatments, private pools and barely needing to think about anything once you arrive, a luxury resort might make far more sense.

We can also mix them.

A few busy days somewhere with plenty to see followed by a beautiful resort where you do very little can make an incredible honeymoon. You don't have to make one hotel style fit the entire trip.

Which is better for a special anniversary?

Again, I'd think about what makes the trip feel special to you.

It might be an intimate hotel with only a handful of rooms and a restaurant you'd happily travel for. It might be a huge resort where you book a fantastic suite, have breakfast overlooking the sea and spend a week being looked after. 

Special doesn't have to mean secluded, and luxury doesn't have to mean enormous.

The important bit is understanding what you're hoping will feel different from an ordinary holiday. 

Which one gives better value? 

I don't think you can answer this by comparing the room price alone.

A boutique hotel might initially look cheaper, but if you're eating and drinking outside every day, hiring taxis and paying separately for experiences, the overall holiday spend could look quite different.

A larger all-inclusive resort may cost more upfront but include much more once you're there.

The reverse can also be true. There's no value in paying for endless resort facilities if you won't use them.

For me, value is about what you're getting for the money and how much of it matters to you. Cheapest and best value are not the same thing.

What I look at when I'm choosing a hotel for someone

This is why I don't like sending a huge list of hotels and asking which one you like the look of. 

Before I get anywhere near the shortlist, I want to understand the holiday.

Who's travelling? What did you love about your last hotel? What drove you mad? Do you like going out at night? How important is the food? Are you pool people or beach people? Do the children need activities? Would you use a spa? Do you want somewhere peaceful or somewhere with a bit of life? Are you happy hiring a car? Does the room need to be somewhere you genuinely spend time?

Those answers start ruling hotels in and out very quickly.

And that's the bit I think gets missed when people start a holiday search by filtering hundreds of hotels by star rating and review score. 

Don't book the hotel everyone else loves

Reviews are useful. Recommendations are useful. Awards are useful.

But none of them knows you.

A hotel can have thousands of glowing reviews and still be completely wrong for the way you like to travel.

Somebody giving a hotel five stars because they never left the resort tells you very little if your favourite part of a holiday is wandering into town every evening.

Equally, someone complaining that there wasn't enough entertainment might be describing exactly the quiet hotel you've been hoping to find.

I care much more about why somebody liked or disliked a hotel than the number beside their review.

So, boutique hotel or luxury resort?

If you want intimacy, character, a lovely base and expect to spend plenty of time outside the hotel, I'd probably start smaller.

If you want restaurant choice, facilities, activities and the freedom to spend most of the holiday without leaving the resort, I'd probably start bigger. 

If you're travelling with children, celebrating something, want adults-only, need particular room arrangements or have very specific ideas about food and entertainment, then we go deeper than either label. 

Because I'm not trying to find you the hotel that looks best in a photograph. 

I'm trying to find the one you'll still be telling people about when you get home.

If you've got a holiday in your head but you're not sure what hotel will actually suit you, send me your dates, who's travelling, your approximate budget and the things that matter most to you. You don't need to know the hotel. You don't even need to have narrowed it down to one destination. That's the bit I can help with.

Danielle x