This year has been absolutely crazy for me. I sold my house earlier in the year and am currently living with my partner while his house sells. But there’s nothing suitable for us to buy right now, so I’m looking at being nomadic until at least the end of the year.

I’ve started a brand new job. Before I knew how busy this year would be, I signed up to steward at a couple of festivals for charity. In the past couple of months, I’ve travelled around Ireland, and covered a fair few miles in the UK.

I’ve even written a note to myself in my calendar for March 2027 to remind myself to say ‘no’ more often than I say ‘yes’ next summer!

I’ve always prided myself on being a ‘yes girl’, mostly for FOMO on opportunities and also because I just love doing. It’s served me well – I’ve stayed on a diving liveaboard in the Maldives, been to Everest on a tour through Tibet and swum through a piranha-infested stretch of the Amazon River.

But this year, saying ‘yes’ to too much has backfired. It’s led to me wishing the summer away. Summer is usually my absolute favourite time of the year!

So I’ve made myself a promise: my upcoming trip to Portugal is going to be a practise space for building new boundaries. I’ll be there for 10 days. Because it’s time-bound, it’ll be easier to experiment. Because it's a new environment, doing things differently should be simpler, and the stakes are lower than trying to reinvent my whole life at once.

Five boundaries I’m going to practise on my next holiday:

1.       No to being constantly available

My phone is going into Do Not Disturb mode, with dedicated times to check in with home and respond to messages. I don’t need to be ‘on call’ 24/7 to be a good partner, friend, business owner, etc.

2.       No to an overfilled itinerary

I'll leave white space in my diary. I’ll choose one highlight per day when we’re there and let that be enough. Rest doesn’t happen when every hour is scheduled, and I want to actually feel like I’m on holiday, not just tick the holiday off a to-do list.

3.       No to booking up activities ‘for everyone else’

This holiday is about connecting with my family and engaging in conversation and play with them. We’ll see what we feel like doing once we arrive, rather than pre-planning activities for every day before we’ve even boarded the plane. I’m resisting my natural urge to perform ‘perfect organiser’ and instead prioritising presence.

4.       No to budget boundaries that ignore my wellbeing

One thing I have booked well in advance is private transfers to our accommodation. The last thing my nervous system needs when I arrive in Portugal is to sit on a coach with lots of hot and bothered fellow travellers, touring all the hotels in the Algarve while they all get dropped off first! Sometimes spending a little more to arrive calm, cool and regulated is worth every penny.

5.       No to misaligned company

I’ll be travelling with family with whom I feel 100% comfortable. I don’t have to mind my Ps and Qs (which can take up a lot of mental space). Holidays are not the time to manage tricky relationship dynamics if you can help it.

I'm practicing what I preach here, because protecting your energy is exactly how I approach my work as a Travel Counsellor.

When I design travel experiences for my clients, I take their mental health into account from our very first call.

I filter options, presenting only the most suitable choices to avoid choice paralysis. There are so many options out there, and when all you want is to relax, endless scrolling and comparing can feel exhausting and off-putting.

I build itineraries around my clients’ energy levels, not just bucket lists. If you’d rather sit back on a leisurely alpine train journey with a glass of local Valtellina wine (like the stunning route pictured below), followed by an evening spa session in mountain hot springs, that can also be arranged.

I take the time to listen, to find out what you really want and need, then build itineraries that respect those boundaries.

I’m also really good at gently reminding clients of their original intentions when they wobble and want to fill every minute. Being a trained mental health counsellor means I have the skills to really listen with empathy…and gently guide if the need arises.

So that’s my experiment for Portugal: using my next holiday to practise saying no.

What is one boundary you want to practise on your next trip?

Get in touch with me to talk it through and design a holiday that respects that boundary from day one.